We have been reading 'The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe' by C.S. Lewis. The children have been inspired to write their own stories, which we will post a paragraph each day. Please read them and make a comment, the children may have to change them to suit your thoughts! 
We are now reading Kensuke's Kingdom and have arrived off the coast of Australia. Next week we will be writing non chronological reports about animals in the book.
Jack had arrived at his grandparents old roof tiled house for the first time, which was in the middle of a dusty farm. It was raining outside.
ReplyDelete“This is so boring,” moaned Jack. “I have no X-box and I’m trapped in here.”
“Oh cheer up,” said his grandad kindly. “Play with your toys upstairs.”
“I don’t know where my room is,” muttered Jack just loud enough for his grandad to hear.
“It’s the first room upstairs,” he sighed.
Jack climbed the stairs slowly. Forgetting it was the first room he was supposed to walk into. He trudged into the second room. In there the boy found a painting of a forest, which he picked up when all of a sudden he was sucked in.
‘’Sarah, Junior you hide! Bet’ a can easily find you.’’ Lively called Connor .Sarah and Junior were related so they did almost everything together .Junior was the cheeky, glum one, who had only turned ten .On the other hand ,Sarah , Junior’s sister was always giddy and soon was 14 years old .In the maze ,by the dead bramble bush , something moved .Naturally Sarah wouldn’t wonder off ,without her mum there , but something inside persuaded her to .She crawled forwards, it still moved .Meanwhile Junior tried to follow his hands covering his pale face .
DeleteI can not wait to hear the next paragraph Jack
DeleteI can not wait to hear the next paragraph super Bradley
DeleteI can not wait to hear the next paragraph Rebecca
DeleteGreat story. I would love to read more.
DeleteHi Jack. Great story,I can't wait to read the rest.
DeleteHi Jack,
ReplyDeleteWe love the start of your story and can't wait to hear the rest of it. We have a really good picture in our head of where this story is set, well done on the detail you put into it.
From Miss A's Class
Nagambie PS, Australia
Surrounding him were trees with lanterns on them. Bees were making lovely smelling honey, which was the finest Jack had ever seen. There were animals everywhere. The sight of the forest made the boy feel jolly. He went to smell the bright blue tulips when he heard a voice say,
ReplyDelete“Hello.”
“Who said that?” asked Jack.
“I did I’m dimples a talking cat.”
“Cats can’t talk,” he said in amazement.
“Well this one can,” Dimples said actively
“My name’s Jack.”
“Pleasure to meet you Jack,” the friendly cat said.
“You to,” the child politely replied.
“How about some lunch?” suggested Dimples.
“Yes please,” answered Jack.
“Gran, can we help you unpack?” groaned Jack.
ReplyDelete“No! go and play with your sister!” replied gran.
So Jack wondered up the old creaky stairs, whilst looking for Layla. As he searched for Layla, he heard her shout so he rushed to where it came from.
Hi,
Deletenice paragragh. I'm wondering what happened to layla.
bye my name's michael.
Hi Tamzin,
DeleteMy name is Monique,that story is fantastic I can't wait to hear the rest
Bye
Monique:)
Before very long he was with Layla. She was looking at an old wooden carved Jewellery box hat she had found under the bed.
Delete“Open it go on open it,” he said consistently.
She thought he was out of his mind but she still opened it. Without warning they were sucked in.
Can't wait to hear the rest of it
DeleteDanny and the suspicious world
ReplyDeleteIt was a rainy day and Danny was bored on his Nintendo ds. He liked exploring new places. His mum was working and it was two hours before she came home. Danny decided he would put his coat on and go outside in the rain.
One cloudy and gloomy day, at the small school of White Bell Primary Lyin Shenron was bored out of her mind. She was waiting for her mother to finish cleaning the classrooms (even though there weren’t many) It took absolutely ages. As you can imagine Lyin was fed up. Lyin left the classroom to blow her nose at the toilet ,but when she opened the door she noticed something peculiar. For some strange reason there was an extra cubicle (even though she didn’t need it) she went in it.
ReplyDelete“Oh my gosh!” Exclaimed Lyin,”who ever heard of a cubicle with no toilet!?”
Without knowing why, she put her dainty hands on against the wall, but what happened next really freaked her out. Her hands could go through the wall and she walked through it altogether.
“Gran, can we help you unpack?” groaned Jack.
ReplyDelete“No! go and play with your sister!” replied gran.
So Jack wondered up the old creaky stairs, whilst looking for Layla. As he searched for Layla, he heard her shout so he rushed to where it came from.
Danny and the suspicious world
ReplyDeleteIt was a rainy day and Danny was bored on his Nintendo ds. He liked exploring new places. His mum was working and it was two hours before she came home. Danny decided he would put his coat on and go outside in the rain.
Dora had just moved in her new huge house in countryside that had 4 bedrooms. Looking up at the house she opened her mouth wide and her pupils went bigger and bigger. She walked in. Whilst Dora was looking down stairs, her mum said,
ReplyDelete“Why don’t you go and see what fabulous room you want?”
So she went up the spiral stair case, which had a soft carpet covering it and chose her room. This room is the biggest room there you could fit 1 hundred cats in it. In the corner was a little door with a gold handle and blue patterns surrounded it. Cautiously she walked towards it and clutched the handle. Creak, creak the door opened. Crawling through the tiny door was a pink, ten legged spider. Dora went crawling through the tunnel.
Super Bradley! But you have repeated cautiously. :)
Deletecool Bradley ! cant wait to see what happens
DeleteWOW great story bradley. I'd love to hear more.
DeleteBrilliant story Jack I cant wait for the next part! :)
ReplyDeleteInside the old gloomy library was Joe and Lucas. They were both exploring the library's books, until they came across a strange book. It was old and rusty but, Joe and Lucas still picked it up and as soon as they opened it. suddenly they had disappered.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteIn the dark and gloomy library Jason stood quietly waiting for his mum to finish work. He started looking around for something to read, and then at the corner of his eye he spotted an old and dusty book. Slowly he walked up the narrow aisle. When he got to the book he picked it up carefully, so that the pages wouldn’t tear out, he rubbed the dust of. It said ‘only for your eyes!’ He opened the book and then suddenly he got pulled into the book. CRASH BANG WOLLOP!
ReplyDeleteIn the dark and gloomy library Jason stood quietly waiting for his mum to finish work. He started looking around for something to read, and then at the corner of his eye he spotted an old and dusty book. Slowly he walked up the narrow aisle. When he got to the book he picked it up carefully, so that the pages wouldn’t tear out, he rubbed the dust of. It said ‘only for your eyes!’ He opened the book and then suddenly he got pulled into the book. CRASH BANG WOLLOP!
Well chosen adjectives to help us to 'see' the scene you are creating. Good use of onomatopoeia! But now I want to know what happens next!
DeleteInside the old gloomy library were Joe and Lucas. They were both exploring the library's books, until they came across a strange book. It was old and rusty but, Joe and Lucas still picked it up and as soon as they opened it. Suddenly they had disappered
ReplyDeleteOne sunny day, Gemma was going to an old library .Inside the library were some dirty rusty books. Gemma looked inside a book. Suddenly she disappeared.
ReplyDeleteGreat start chloe
DeleteHi Chloe
DeleteI like your story. What happen to Gemma?. I Want to no more of your story?.
From Dakoda :) :( :)
Hi chloe,
DeleteI like your story so far. Please put more info to your story.
What happen to Gemma?
Did she go home?
Did she run away to anthoer place like queenland?
From Shanay :) :(:)
While Kelly was walking through town, she could see a beautiful jewllery shop. She wondered inside. She could see tons of bracelets. Some were multi coloured. A few minutes later, Kelly could hear an ecoing voice swiping across the shop. Kelly came closer to the sound. Then she could see a box with a beautiful patterned lid. She opened the box and BOOM. Kelly dissepeared from the jewellery shop.
ReplyDeleteOne day at school David was wondering can he climb up trees but he did because he loved climbing. When miss was busy and no one was looking he started to climb up the tree. Suddenly miss shouted
ReplyDelete‘‘David get down from there’’ It gave David a shock and he slipped. As he fell he snapped a branch and when he opened his eyes, he fell into a big pile of nice comfy flowers.
All that Jason could see was gnarled trees trunks and branches like witch’s fingers. In the distance he could see a glade with an old tree in the middle of it. Before Jason knew it he was in the middle of a beautiful but old forest. Suddenly he heard someone singing. It came nearer and nearer. Then a little goblin was standing in front of him. ‘’Hello my name is Rody. I live here in these trees with all my friends,’’ he shouted with a big grin on his face.
ReplyDeleteJason replied, ‘’Your small but really loud aren’t you?’’
Amazing description of the trees to start off! Great use of different sentence lengths too... to build tension. Great work Rebecca! I also love the bit of humour at the end. I would like to read more!
DeleteIn the middle of the high street on a fine summer day, two children and their dad went into one Jewellery shop. A little purple dress with doll shoes is what Ellie wore on that day, she had blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. James had yellow trainers, turquoise jeans and a black shirt, to go with those glowing green eyes. Their mouths lit up with a smile on their face when they saw an old metal box calling to them. As soon as they opened the lid Ellie and James were sucked into the unknown.
ReplyDeleteBefore very long Joe amd Lucas had arrived at an old enchanted forest but they were both stumped until they heard a deep voice which said,
ReplyDelete''Hello my name is Jeff.''Joe and Lucas jumped up in surprise and were confused to see a Lion talking.
Rody answered back ‘’Yes, I’m the smallest in my family but the loudest!’’
ReplyDeleteJason stood in amazement because he has never known that a really small creature could be as loud as a tiger.
Rody offered Jason if he would like to have a stroll in the deeper part of the forest and he replied ‘’Of course I’d love to.’’ Before very long they were in the deepest part of the forest, which was where the evil griffin lived.
Suddenly the entire colour disappeared and everything turned black and white. The evil griffin jumped in front of them and cried ‘’ I bet you can’t find the secret bottle!’’ he turned away and just smiled. Jason asked Rody, ‘’who’s he? Is he someone who rules the kingdom?’’ Rody replied, ‘’ He does rule the kingdom and we need to get that bottle!’’
‘’Oh!’’ answered Jason.
ReplyDeleteThe rain was pouring down on to the library windows. Liam loved every book! But that’s I bit to dramatic. As he was walking down the old books isle he saw a book saying the adventure starts here.
“Oh haven’t seen that book before” he said in a weird voice.
As soon as he opened the book the library despaired
On the other side of the wall, was a very strange room she had never seen before in her entire life. There were many reasons why it weirded Lyin out , (but if I were to list them all this story would be three hundred pages long, so I will just tell you the most important.) There was a cat in a crimson cape with snow-white fur at the bottom of it.
ReplyDeleteYour tone is lovely, I feel like I am being 'told' the story. Great use of informal explanation in your brackets. What does 'weirded out' mean? Is there an alternative word/phrase you could use?
DeleteThursday 16th May
ReplyDeleteL.O-To plan and write a fantasy story
‘’Sarah, Junior you hide! Bet’ a can easily find you.’’ Lively called Connor .Sarah and Junior were related so they did almost everything together .Junior was the cheeky, glum one, who had only turned ten .On the other hand ,Sarah , Junior’s sister was always giddy and soon was 14 years old .In the maze ,by the dead bramble bush , something moved .Naturally Sarah wouldn’t wonder off ,without her mum there , but something inside persuaded her to .She crawled forwards, it still moved .Meanwhile Junior tried to follow his hands covering his pale face .
They soon felt a sunbeam, burning on their backs, and noticed they were in a lush forest .For the first time, Juniors eyes sparkled, whilst his smile glowed, in addition to Sarah, opening her mouth wide .Nudging by Junior’s feet ,an amateur pearl white swan lay.
ReplyDeleteQuickly they both charged off to the griffin’s cave. Behind the rock Jason saw a bottle he picked it up and smashed it but it wasn’t that bottle with the colour in it. He tried the next one and the next until he found it. Finally the last bottle came. He thought it wasn’t it but it was. He smashed it and there was colour again.
ReplyDelete‘’Rody I’m really going to miss you!’’ he sobbed
‘’I know but you will come back another day won’t you?’’ Rody asked. Jason replied, ‘’of course I will!’’
He opened the book and he was back in the library. Also he noticed that no time had passed by and his mum was still at work.
“This box, its enchanted!” yelled Ellie with amazement. They looked down and found a golden sandy beach. But just then a horse that had wings came and sprinkled dust all over them. Then they started growing wings. “What’s the big idea doing that?” shouted James. “I’m sorry your highness,” answered the horse, “I’m sorry my name is Sasher and we need your help. Now you can fly with me come on.” They all flew to the top of a mountain were a huge castle was.
ReplyDelete“Quack! Help Help the the …the WITCH! She is going to vanish the water! “Cried the poor swan. Then Junior discovered a gnarled, ugly tree ENT with daffodils, gleaming yellow, beneath its twisty branches.
ReplyDelete“Aye! Up there! Please tell us what happened to that lake “pleaded Junior pointing over to it.
He looked at the tree and it just vanished so David looks round. He saw a castle with a big demined with the same tree he fell out of. When suddenly a gnome came to him and growled.
ReplyDelete‘‘Hi are you lost?’’
‘‘yes’’ replied David.
‘‘come’’ said the grumpy old man. So David followed the gnome to his cave.
An hour later they sat down to have their food. There were chicken drumsticks and goujons, that were cooked over a magma rock in the shape of a plate, double stuffed Oreos, cat food, milk[for Dimples] and lemonade[for Jack.] The cat told him about Crusher the evil talking dog, who wanted revenge for when Dimples pushed him into a pond full of stinky Stich-heads.
ReplyDelete“He lives in the only electric building here, where he receives power I do not know,” he said curiously.
I am so interested in the character of Crusher, the evil talking dog, he sounds amazing! I bet the children at East Morton will love hearing about him. Miss D (East Morton)
ReplyDeleteA great way to start a paragraph, with a good time connective. I love the idea of Crusher the evil talking dog. I am sure the children of East Morton will too!
ReplyDelete“Who the heck are you?” gasped Lyin a little frightened even though the cat looked friendly.
ReplyDelete“My name is King Codger,” said the purple furred cat , but as he turned round Lyin noticed he had tears in his eyes.
“Oh,” said Lyin feeling sorry for him,” what’s the matter?”
“G…G…Ginyu , Ginyu stole my precious Jewells!” wept King Codger.
“Who is Ginyu?” asked Lyin, who was no longer scared.
“W…w…why it is Ginyu the evil Faun. He stole my Jewells. They control the sun ,and now are they are in his possession it is always raining!” He cried. King Codger pointed at a tiny window in the very corner of the room. Lyin looked out. King Codger was right, it was raining tarenchualy.
“Oh no how awful , but what can I do?”
“Nothing I’m afraid little human
Well done what an amazing story
DeleteBrilliant start Rebecca. I would love to read more.
ReplyDeleteThe missing girl
ReplyDeleteOne day in the summer a little girl called Rosie had recently just moved into a small village on the outskirts of Scotland ,she was 10 her and her friends from the local public school decided to make plans for the next day . Rosie went to bed excited and happy she drifted asleep. The next morning she woke up got ready something to eat and headed to her best friend’s house she is called Roxy they went and got their other friends and headed to the park by the time they got there it was 12 o’clock they all went on to the slide then the swings and then the roundabout, when they were finished she walked Roxy home 5 minutes later Rosie got home, her mum had her dinner ready she ate her dinner and got ready for bed and fell straight asleep. it was morning around 11o’clock when she realised that she had lost her phone she phoned Roxy from her mums phone to see if she would come to the park with her to get it but nobody answered so she went on her own. Rosie was at the park looking for her phone when she heard screaming “arggggghhhhh” Rosie got up the courage to go and check it out because it was coming from so deep into the woods that nobody dared to go in because of the village kidnapper but she went in anyway . As soon as she got in there was red ribbons shredded everywhere, she turned around so fast like lighting when she heard the sound of big boots standing on twigs and there was a very tall man dressed in black with a red ribbon on his wrist. When she woke up she couldn’t see or move that’s when she remembered the man but nothing else …………………….
To be continued ….
By kayleigh and Natasha D
Groovy story
ReplyDeleteYes narnia is a great story
ReplyDeleteYes narnia is a great story Josh
ReplyDeleteI love your writing San fom Harley.
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing story.
ReplyDeleteNania is a fantastic book.
ReplyDeleteCool story jack
ReplyDelete